Learning to understand the "gifts" I have been given has sent me in a different direction then some other gifted people - may be that is why it has taken me longer to develop my God given abilities. I've known I was different from many people, from what I consider an early age, but never knew how to learn, develop, or accept these differences.
I would go to the bookstore and look at the New Age section. I would ponder thru numerous books to see where I fit into this "New Age" thinking. Why was I being given information? I am just a regular person - just an average girl in an average life. What is the purpose and why me?As I browsed thru the books I would look for answers and understanding, but very rarely did I ever find anything to explain the answers. So many psychics have written books about how to enhance aspects of psychic development. Many of the books I placed back on the shelf, because I felt people just wanting to make a buck wrote them. They never explained how they themselves had accomplished a better understanding of their abilities from performing such exercises.
Over the years, I have purchased books, but my choices were made by my gut instinct. As I reflect back the books I did purchase seem to also explain the authors own experiences, in which I could relate.I consider my journey different from many others, in the way I learn or understand my "gifts."I'm not saying others are not right in their development - I'm just different. My differences may also be what others are going thru - they are just not spoken or written about as much. I believe the reason some of us take a different path is we do not comprehend or cannot place the importance to the "meaning" of certain things. The best way for me to explain this is to example Tarot Cards.
For years I have owned Tarot Cards. I searched and did purchase many books on the Tarot, but the books - to me - were very confusing and the information made no sense. Well, maybe they would make sense but they seemed unimportant to me. I tried and tried to get myself to learn the meanings - I became very frustrated with myself because even though I was so drawn to the "Tarot" I could not make myself learn even the basic of meanings. So why was I drawn to something this strongly. Then many years later I realized the Tarot Cards are to me, a physical item allowing me to express my psychic gifts. It was like I needed something tangible to say "ok your not crazy."I have had the same Tarot Cards for many many years! I cannot even tell you what deck it is! LOL Like I said the importance of such things doesn't matter to me. I have learned to look at the cards and certain things pop into my head. What could be important in one reading with a certain card can mean something totally different in another reading. I am probably some Tarot readers’ worst nightmare! Actually, that is not true every reader has their own way of reading and could care less what another reader says. But it just popped into my mind; my sense of humor does that sometimes. Very rarely do I do "Tarot Readings" and if I do I will either just give the information I am given without telling the person what the cards are - if online. The other way I have done it is to give the reading - as I see it. Then I provide the person with the card names and if they want to investigate what they mean - they can. But somehow I doubt those meanings will be beneficial to the person.
To me the "if this then that" in my psychic world does not apply with the general understanding of psychic information. That is why I say I have traveled a different path then many psychics I have had communications with. I respect all those that I speak with and a part of me wishes that I had the background knowledge they have acquired. I just can't seem to go there. I have to accept the path I am given and go forward. I have written this to hopefully help other psychics like myself not to get discourage because they cannot learn in the same aspect as other psychics. Be yourself and follow your gut - you will learn and grow from the information within yourself. Only choose aids that seem important to your journey!
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